I can’t drink enough to make you interesting…

I’ve been musing recently on rationality and more interesting to me… irrationality…

And whilst sometimes they are very good reasons to ramble off down the road of irrationality… maybe for creative purposes or in situations which defy all rationality and thereby irrationality is the only means available to try and make sense of things… There are without doubt, times when irrationality bites you firmly on the ass…

You know those situations where you find yourself thinking – well there’s 2 hours of my life I’ll never get back… You know… those times when you force yourself to finish that trashy novel you started even though you hate it because surely at some point it has to get better? Surely it will? No? After all… everybody is raving about it? Or maybe sitting through some god awful film because you paid for a ticket… Yet, seriously folks… isn’t your time more valuable than those few quids you squandered on entry price?

Why do we put ourselves through these things? And while these things may be fairly small and somewhat trivial, what about staying in that job you hate, or relationship that you know has passed its sell by date, just because you’ve been there for 10 years or so?

So I had a word with the Queen of Swords…

Queen of Swords (c) Jordan Hoggard 2010

Queen of Swords
(c) Jordan Hoggard 2010

She asked me a few questions:

  • What situations do you find yourself in, where you know in your gut that it’s just not for you?
  • Do you overrate the results of a choice, based on how much time, money and effort you have put in?
  • Do you know when to cut your losses and move on?
  • How do you determine the current value of a situation, to you, right here and now, without factoring in all that’s gone before?
  • Do you ever find yourself in a distasteful situation and try to find ways to justify it to yourself and attempt to minimise how unpleasant you find it?

I said – Blimey!! I didn’t expect you to machine gun me… I thought your weapon of choice was the sword…

She said – OK Karen… Think a minute and tell me about a time when you recognised you were in a situation where you felt your life slipping away and your soul quietly losing the will to live… Tell me when you’ve had that happen and decided to walk away…

Oh… OK… I can think of this one time when I was out on a very boring date and decided I’d be better off cutting it short and heading off to join some friends elsewhere…

Karen… Am I correct in thinking that that was the time that man asked you what you were thinking, and you replied – I can’t drink enough to make you interesting…?

Yes…. yes it was…

Well Karen, that’s not a bad example… though really, you could have spared yourself another couple of hours of boredom?

Really? How’s that?

You know when you arrived at the bar and he asked you what you wanted to drink… You asked for a pint of snakebite and he came back with a half a cider… Because it’s unlady like to drink pints… You should have walked then…

Yeah! Queeny, good point! CHEERS! 😀

 

Are you quite positive that I’m being negative…

I’m sure it’s not a new thing… In fact I’m positive that it’s not a new thing and has indeed been going on for oh…. probably since time began or shortly thereafter…

However, it seems to be a current thing and a fly that buzzes and annoys quite a few people I know of late…

Apparently the hard sell is all the rage and if you’re not doing it that way, there’s a whole swarm ready to tell you that you’re doing it wrong…

And maybe us soft sellers are doing it wrong… only time will tell…

But what irks me, is that when these self-appointed gurus are challenged and asked questions about their methods and techniques, they can find oh so many words to say nothing at all and immediately change their tack to…

YOU ARE BEING NEGATIVE…

YOU ARE NOT POSITIVE ENOUGH FOR ME TO WORK WITH…

And you know what I say to that?

BULLSHIT!!!

Here’s my thoughts… If you want to sell to me… I am going to ask you questions…

You want me to part with hard cash … I’m going to ask hard questions and check your references…

I like to know what I’m buying or not buying…

That’s an informed choice and has squat diddly to do with being positive or negative…

Please stop pushing positive as though that  somehow has more merit and value than negative… Life does not work like that. Most things exist on a sliding scale and your view depends greatly on where you stand…

And please!! Just because I disagree with you… that is not by default negative… Don’t keep using that word as though it is something bad and dirty and shameful and inherently wrong…

In fact… I can guarantee that one day you will want to hear that word, pray that it comes and if it does, I’m thinking you’ll find it such sweet relief…

No? You don’t think so…?

Ok… Imagine this… You are in a hospital and the Doctor comes towards you… You’ve been waiting for and dreading this moment…

He says to you… Your test results are…

Ok… now you finish the sentence… do you still want to hear positive or will you now swing over to negative…

See… there are very few times in life when those words positive and negative actually mean anything at all…

In fact… unless you are talking about such things as electrons and protons or blood transfusions to me… go find some better words…

Oh… and just for the record…

My blood group…

A Negative

😀

A Toast to Joy Muggers…

The last couple of years have been an interesting time for me… I decided to become self-employed. And I had a great many number of reasons for doing that… I love challenges and blah blah blah 😀 but the main reason is I guess,  that I really don’t take too kindly to being told what to do…

So… I must admit, it came as a bit of a surprise to find myself constantly under floods of unsolicited advice and opinions from all manner of folks… From complete strangers to people who informed me that they were my good friends and only had my welfare at heart…

Meh… what’ev…

And I’m not even going to go into the rubbish I’ve heard or had tossed at me via text or emails…oh… and even phone calls…

So… Instead, I  offer a toast to joy muggers…

Ace of Cups (c) Jordan Hoggard 2010

Ace of Cups
(c) Jordan Hoggard 2010

So… here’s to the naysayers and mood hoovers…

Raise your glass

Raise it high!

But before you drink…

Just pause…

Look into that glass…

Do you see your eye?

Look into it…

Deep…

Deeper…

Now scry into your soul…

Do you like what you see?

Now stay there until you do…

As for me…

Hey! I’m busy…

Doing all those things you told me not to!

😀

 

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