Hope Bubbles…

I’m sure every Tarot reader has that one question that gives them the world-weary silent sigh of …oh… please… no… please… not again…

Mine is…

Is there hope?

This irks me on several levels… it brings back the homespun mantra from my childhood that was rolled out as an ad hoc response to pretty much every request…

Shit in one hand, wish in the other and see which fills first!

I was raised by cynics and it forged in me a pragmatic soul… a soul which often feels out of place in my chosen profession as I find myself surrounded by popular woo and mumbo jumbo manifestations and purveyors of love and light platitudes… Believe hard enough! Wish hard enough! Set your intention clearly and miracles are yours!

Now I don’t doubt that miracles do happen… though I do doubt that they arise by closing your eyes and chanting – I do believe in fairies… I do … I DO!

But I’m often filled with despair when I’m asked about the H word… it’s often accompanied by a train wreck of a story which makes me silently ponder very many things which my sense of tact tells me are probably kindest not to mention…

Yes… hope… you filthy four lettered word… you shiny little bubble of hot air wrapped in flimsy wet surface tension… I hear you… and this is what I hear…

Hope

But then I think… you know… sometimes… hope can be noble…

I think back to a couple of years ago and a small funeral that took place in my garden… sobbing children gathered around laying daisies over a tiny grave…

The day before, the air had been filled with shrieks and screams! The cat, cold blooded serial killer that he his, had gotten hold of a baby mouse and my daughter had wrestled the terrified shaking creature out of the jaws of death and brought him into the house…

Help me save him!

I looked at the fragile body and as much as I’d have like to offer hope, I felt that I could only try and prepare her for disappointment…

It’s nature sweetheart, it’s red in tooth and claw and cats are cats and mice are mice… what do you want to do?

I want to try!!

I said – you can try but you may not get what you want…

So, she borrowed a cage from one of the local kids and fashioned a bed and she gave him water and sat with him through the night and in the morning her sobs were fierce…

I felt sad, I felt her sadness and I felt world-weary that hope had expired…

I watched as she led the little funeral service…

Then I heard her say words, that told me that hope had served her well…

I listened to her eulogy

We are here today to say goodbye to a tiny life…

A tiny life is still a life…

And even if only lived briefly…

To have been loved in that tiny short life…

That! That is something to be remembered and celebrated…

 

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Where’s the Point…

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The theme for this Tarot blog hop was opened up by my learned friend Joy Vernon who gave us the following phrase to ruminate…

“…the still point of the center of the fixed stimulates germination and the awakening of the heart.”

Accompanying this, was a background to her thoughts covering many things… but the words I recall were Tzaddi, Emperor and Star… bringing back a dream I had several months ago, that I won’t go into now…

For now… I decided to ponder upon the phrase given…

It seemed such a simple phrase upon the first inspection, but as I sat, the words started to move around… little fractal arms shooting off from words with variations and permutations… substituting in new meanings to give new inversions and tones… ‘still’ morphed to ‘yet to come’… center and heart merrily swapped places… I let them dance and fill my page…

Another quote sparkled to mind…

You must have chaos within you to give birth to a dancing star – Nietzsche

I wondered about the word chaos… I have a feeling it has slipped away into a more haphazard use than maybe it was first used… I’ve seen it described as being disorganised and random etc… but more interesting to me is how the word is used in relation to the butterfly effect and how dynamic systems are sensitive to initial conditions and how very tiny deviations play out in unpredictable ways…

I was reeled back in by Freddy and his dancing stars… I thought of the births and deaths of stars… of binary stars that dance around each other… of gravitational pulls and collapses and after burst that glows and oh… I looked down at my page of scribbled notes and saw that I’d changed the word ‘fixed’ to ‘castrated’ and had a wry smile to myself that maybe I was in danger of disappearing up my own black hole…

So… I decided to toss away the pencil and paper and sit quietly with my tablet and let my fingers draw and see what happened as I meditated upon the given phrase…and as I stayed stationary at a point, the lines spread out and grew beneath my fingers… I drew a few… where I just let my finger sit… and yeah… it grew and spread across the page… but not in a way that pleased my eye or thrilled my soul… it bored me and the inaction made my hand hurt a little…

Then Freddy came knocking… let it dance a little… let it go where it wants to flow… you can be still and centred at many points… and slowly this emerged…

XVII The Star Karen Sealey 2016

Though I wonder if it is a star or maybe it is a constellation… I like to think that we all as we move through life and in and out of pauses, both painful and pleasant, that we leave a little wake behind us that weaves into a cosmic tapestry that links us all… all of us little tiny stitches… that maybe close up don’t seem to make much sense but zoom out and a glorious picture is revealed…

So… while I was zooming in and out… I thought maybe I’d try a bit of time travel too and go seek out Uncle Al… I lured him out, not with magic nor a wand but with ink pots and nibs and Thothesque daubings… I found myself sitting on his knee…

Tsar

Uncle Al… what’s all this kerfuffle with Tzaddi and the Emperor and the Star?

Star?!… Oh… that old chestnut… No… it’s not Star… it was never Star… what I channeled was Tsar…

Tsar? So what happened…

Mercury Rx… my esoteric spell checker was on the fritz…

😉

So… awakening the heart… did I or didn’t I…

I awoke some art…

I’ll settle on that…

You can hop either way to see what my neighbours have been growing 😉

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