Yes! I know! I am a terrible Mother!!!

phone-call-from-school

I have never felt that I would ever be a serious contender for a Mother of the Year Award… because let’s face it… I’m not naturally gifted, I had zero training, have no qualifications in that particular department, often fall asleep on the job and frequently catch myself glancing at my brood and thinking that they’re lucky that I’m not a hamster or I would have eaten all of them alive by now…

And throughout the last quarter of a century, there’s been no shortage of unsolicited advice from people queueing up to tell just exactly how they think I’m doing things wrong… I’ve been too young to be pregnant… I’ve been too old to be pregnant… I’ve been deemed unfit for being a working mother and I’ve had the finger of shame pointed at me for being a stay at home mother… you get the picture… basically if you start taking on other people’s lopsided views from their little worlds then you’re always going to find yourself to be deemed as some kind of loser…

Today I felt that mythical M.O.T.Y.A. slip even further towards vanishing over the horizon…

I now inhabit yet another category that unfit mother’s dwell in… These days, I’m self-employed and it seems to be that there are people out there who either view that as oh she has a bit of a hobby or as oh she has nothing to do all day… and when I say people, I’m mostly referencing the outstanding professionals that teach my youngest son…

What are we? 3 weeks into the new school year? Something like that… like I say… I’m often somewhat lax… but yeah… we’re certainly much nearer to the start of the academic year than the end and this is not boding well as my phone is constantly ringing… Now you can call me a cnut if you like but I have practically zero tolerance for people who call me to whine about their bad day and that falls to a very chilly absolute zero when they call me out of the blue on a number given for emergency use and expect me to drop everything to listen to them…

Today, I’m doubly annoyed as it’s less than a week ago that I had a lengthy conversation with a Head of Department after putting in a complaint about this type of disruption and I was assured that I would only be contacted from now on in an emergency and that it was noted on the system…

But no… it appears that somebody didn’t get the memo… and I find myself on the end of another lengthy tirade from somebody who is allegedly highly qualified and paid to do a job… telling me that her whole class was in disruption… who then starts screaming and shouting at me when I suggest that she focuses on her classroom management skills… but… apparently… her ringing me about other people’s kids is classroom management…

Ok… whoa… M.O.T.Y.A. finally falls completely out of view and won’t be seen again in this lifetime or maybe even the next…

So… another conversation with a head of year ensues and he assures me that she is the nicest person he’s ever met so I must be mistaken that she shouted at me… I advise him that he needs to meet more people and also comment that well obviously you see a different side of her, you know, what with you being her line manager… but the way she spoke to me conveyed none of the qualities that you have been privvy to and also not the merest trace of professional conduct and I’m not having my working day interrupted to be spoken to like that…

There’s some huffing and puffing and blustering that they need to be able to speak to me when they want to and obviously there must be some problem at home that we need to work together on as your child is not happy in class and this is out of character and that my role as a caring  parent is…

Oo…Oh.. Oh… HO! HO! HO!!! OK so in future if something is important and you actually do want my view or opinion then why don’t you email me so I can read it when I have time to focus clearly, ask my son about it and then get back to you with a response?

Apparently… that has been put on the system now also… though I’m going to be lessed than surprised of my phone starts ringing again tomorrow or the next day…

So later I finally get to speak to my son and I ask him – what’s going off at school?

It’s not a pretty tale but given my experince with the rudeness of teaching staff and my son’s natural tendency to tell it how it is, I find little call to doubt his account…

He says to me… OK!!! THIS is the problem!!! I’m TOO BLOODY HONEST and I just can’t hold it in! They don’t like it when you’re honest… OK… so one teacher, she was shouting at the whole class then started picking on a boy and kept shouting SHUT UP! SHUT UP! at him and I said – you can’t do that! She said why not? And I said that he has human rights and freedom of speech and expression and she just told me to SHUT UP as well and gave me a warning…

I bite the insides of my cheeks to contain my rising smirk… and then ask him… so… is there anything else that I need to know about?

Yeah… this other teacher, she doesn’t like me being honest either she asked me what was interesting about the camera angle in the film we watched and I said there’s nothing interesting… I know she wanted me to say that it was kept on the same focus throughout the whole clip and that it took in the whole view of the scene but that’s not interesting… it’s boring… then she asked me what the advert was for and I said, some kind of car… she got really mad and shouted that is was for a Honda! and that I hadn’t been watching… I said I was watching and I know it was a car but it was boring so I don’t know what type of car and so she put me on a warning for that…

By now the insides of my cheeks are very close to bleeding…

I say to him… ok… In Japan, they have a saying…

deru kugi ha utareru – ‘the nail that sticks out gets hammered down’.

Ok son… the choice is yours… you can either keep your head down or brace yourself to be hammered…

He says… yeah but… I can’t help being honest!!

So I say well in that case son you’d best learn to stand out big enough and strong enough that the hammer bounces off…

Yes! I know! I am a terrible Mother!!!

But you know what… I’m also getting very long in the tooth and I can’t see me becoming a good mother anytime soon… besides… life’s too short to polish a M.O.T.Y.A. 🙂

Reiki… Empirical or Lyrical…

Welcome to the latest Reiki Blog Hop
Joy RBH logo
THEME: Reiki, Science, and Medicine
This is one of those areas, where often I find myself at odds with other people’s views… It feels to be an area that splits, divides and polarises folk and I tend to be not so much sitting on the fence in my views but more with a personal jury that is permanently out to weigh up a final decision and as such I’ve often found myself being blasted from both ends of the spectrum. One of my first experiences in setting up business was to Google myself to see if my website was showing up only to find that some malcontent out of work double science degree antiquackery keyboard assassin with obviously way too much time on his hands had devoted a whole blog piece to not only  providing numerous links to my site but also  sharing with the world just exactly what he thought of my domain full of vacuous pseudo-scholastic scientific piffle or something like that…
I read that with mixed emotions, as well… I do have a certain penchant for indulging in pithy snark and I do enjoy a good rant on occasions  and what with having a degree in genetics myself , I was in agreement with many of the criticisms raised about holistic therapies in general though pretty peeved at the insinuation that I was a no brain wafty airy fairy who happened to have stumbled on a good trick to scam the feeble minded out of their shekels…
On the other end of the scale, there are the big pharma conspiracy theorists with their mantras of natural=good and science=evil who can get very irate if I say that I think there are many times and occasions when I feel that conventional medicine is the way to go… and I have been told to open up to entering the port hole (their words not mine…) and  blah blah blah and so on and so forth until they sign off with the obligatory namaste… and so I hit block and think yeah… I’ll take the starboard hole and I dearly hope that should you ever get cancer and you decide to self-remedy with the crushed up peach kernels that big pharma say you can’t have so they can force you into buying poison… well I hope you cure yourself before you overdose on cyanide… but it will be natural cyanide and therefore good and a great way to exit through your final PORTAL!
So with many experiences along both these lines, I come to the conclusion that fuck it!
Why even bother to attempt to explain as;
For those who believe, no proof is required and for those who don’t then no proof is ever enough…
And I find that quite a sad place to be in as when people are intent on solely seeing the only side that they want to then both sides become bent out of shape and distorted and there’s a whole middle ground that gets lost…
reiki-vs-science
However a few weeks back I had a pretty unexpected and interesting experience… I’ve had an ongoing back problem for a while now and the metaphysician in me has a bloody good idea of where the root of the problem stems from but I have more than my fair share of Virgo in my chart and when something is refusing to budge, then I want it tested on all levels…
So I found myself at the hospital for a consultation with a physiotherapist… now the first thing that surprised me was that the appointment slot was an hour long… yeah… a whole hour! Now that’s not something that I associate with conventional medicine and have always viewed as being one of the major benefits of complementary therapies… but there I was in an hour long conversation discussing my lifestyle and how it had been affected. Now eventually she asked me how I was managing my pain and listed a whole bunch of drugs and medicines and to each one I said no… no… no… until she said – so what exactly are you doing?
I paused and thought ok… I’ll just tell her… and I gave her my list… yoga stretches, Thai massage, Reiki, Meditation, breathing exercises and lots of self-medicating with Art supplies… and my mind filled with all the chatter that I’d heard recently about how the medical profession likes to drug you for everything and make mega bucks out of you… and I wondered what her response would be and she said:
BRILLIANT!!! 
And to be perfectly honest I thought she was just humouring me so she could shunt me through and move on to her next appointment as I must admit the times I’ve been involved in the medical system have been mercifully few and far between and they have all been very much conveyor belt type experiences…  but then she left the cubicle to go get me some printed sheets of exercises that she advises and I sat and listened in to the other conversations on the ward and heard meditation being recommended, breathing exercises explained and active relaxation being advocated… And finally instead of an either/or there seemed to be a direction towards developing a personal blend…
So… my personal jury had returned one small verdict and it is that when it comes to my back pain Reiki will be taken p.r.n. and also I will take Salbutamol when I experience spasms that  make it hard for me to breathe…
Now I’m sure there will be people more than happy to tell me all the risks and side-effect of Salbutamol and yeah… I know… I can read and I can decide for myself and currently I can live with them much more easily than not being able to breathe…
And I am sure that there are people who will tell me that Reiki is at best a placebo effect and yeah… to those, I offer up the following quote…
Just because I imagined it, it doesn’t make it less true
                                                                                                ~ Homer Simpson
At the end of the day, my health is my responsibility and I will make the choices and decisions that I consider to be best for me…
And I wholeheartedly advise you to do the same but please remember to make informed choices…
There’s always more than one view… that’s why we have microscopes and telescopes… both with moveable lenses…
Oh… and should a certain troll  postgraduate scientist happen to stumble this way then I hope he considers his blood pressure and leaves before my Homer Simpson quotes and ramblings  replete with  the plethora  of logical fallacies which tend to accompany these things cause him to split asunder in a Rumplestiltskinesque fashion to  then vanish up his own portal…
😉
Click on a link to visit my neighbours…

2016 September Reiki Blog Hop Master List

joyglobalpc

Today is our fourth Reiki Blog Hop!

The theme is:

Reiki, Science, and Medicine

Carrying on in a similar vein to the previous theme where Joy Vernon asked us:
“How does Reiki mesh with, augment, replace, or fulfil your spiritual or religious philosophy and practice (or lack thereof)?”
This time, we turn our attention to the topics of Science and Medicine and how we relate them to Reiki

Here is the list of participants:

  1.   Clare Cartwright http://cosmiccrystal.co.uk/?p=442

Thank you and welcome to everyone who is joining us here!

The Reiki Blog Hop will happen once every two months–our next hop will be November 15, 2016.

For more info, or if you’d like to be a part of it, please check us out on Facebook.