Ad hoc hotchpotch

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The Magic of Images

Welcome to the latest Tarot Blog Hop… Joy Vernon threw down the gauntlet with this one!

Ah! Magic and tarot… I’ve always had a kind of haphazard relationship here and to be honest I’m more Jonathan Strange than Mr Norell… I don’t have a problem with structured and studied magic per se… it’s more that I’m basically inept at following rituals… invariably resulting in me accidentally setting fire to something or another… A new rug in the house is a dead give away of nocturnal shenanigans that have gone awry… When I dabble in magic it’s invariably a rumbling from within that rises to the surface and takes on a life of its own… Or often a little joke with myself that I’ve laughed at so hard that it’s found its way into reality… One thing I have learned the hard way is that it’s not a good idea to throw your arms into the air and shout “Hit me with your best shot!” … that’s a phrase that launched me onto a 2 year long rollercoaster of a ride with a lengthy hangover to boot…

I’m not fond of using words in magic… it seems too fraught with too many potential pitfalls and besides, I don’t want folks overhearing… I often work with images and if I’ve done a Tarot reading for a particular reason then I may draw something that I can leave laying around to keep my thoughts on track without it being an image that will invite intrusion or nosy questions from the curious… That’s a kind of wordless process where my mind floats and I forget my thoughts until the answers appear… and when I have the answers then the image is put away…

Sometimes I do use Tarot images… often if looking at my birth chart as the images give voice to the planets… I do have a bit of a predilection for making Thoth Hybrids as the underlying geometry links them together so mesmerisingly… These are not from my chart but are for the 3 decans of Aries mentioned in the brief for this theme…

I was also quite intrigued by the Picatrix descriptions that were given… this one, in particular, captured my imagination as when I read it, it brought very vividly to mind an old situation that took a strange turn…
“There rises in the third face of Aries, a restless man, holding in his hands a gold bracelet, wearing red clothing, who wishes to do good, but is not able to do it. This is a face of subtlety and subtle mastery and new things and instruments and similar things. This is its form.”
  • 4 of Wands
  • Venus will be in the third face of Aries this year from May 26, around 10 a.m. until 1:26 a.m. on June 6.
  • To achieve subtlety and subtle mastery and new things and instruments and similar things”

I decided to draw an image and let my mind float…I lost a couple of hours or so and from my first thoughts, my mind fell into free association football until I’d forgotten what I’d been thinking about… I drew this weeks back and it’s been sat there not knowing what would be written…

 

So… interestingly and somewhat cagily as I’m not revealing details here… over the last week or so I’ve had tides of information flood my way… bringing answers to questions that I’d pondered during this drawing… they seem to be appearing in reverse free fall as there is still no answer to the question at the top of the list but being as the time period for this picatrix has not yet come into play… I guess I’ll have to leave things running for a few more weeks…And… I won’t be revealing the outcome as although I may well be a haphazard magician… I do know that you don’t give away the prestige… 😉

Go visit my neighbours, they may be more forthcoming…

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12 Days and 78 Cards of Crimbo

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For this blog hop, Arwen Lynch Poe set the tone with-

It’s that time of the year again! The dreaded office party. Oh no! But we are going to make it fun. Now is the time for our Winter celebration. You may call that Yule or Chanukah or Kwanzaa or Solstice or Christmas or some other name. For this hop, your challenge is to join us in an office party. Crazy right? But read on! You are to create a Winter gift for your readers. That can be your insight into which Tarot/Lenormand/Oracle card is the most like Winter for you. Maybe there’s a deck you find seasonal. You could offer a recipe that is tied to a Tarot card. Maybe tell us a story about holidays past. Create a spread, write a poem, design a card. Whatever you choose to do will be a perfect gift of you to the rest of our Tarot community. So gather round for this Winter Tarot Blog Hop as we do our own version of a virtual Secret Elf office party.

Well, unfortunately, folks… I am a party pooper of gigantic proportions and I’ve got my feet up and I’m indulging in some 1980’s TV…

But… before you draw any Grinch comparisons… I have got you a little gift… Some folks say that TV rots the brain… but it gave me a little food for thought and something for your tarot table… see… you hear nonsense…

I see ∑

If you add up all the numbers 1 to 12…then you get a number that sounds more than somewhat familiar to Tarot readers everywhere… you get that magical 78… So…I’m sure many of you will have managed to slip the name of a new deck to Santa and those of you that have been good have goodies to play with… as for the naughtier amongst you…I’m sure you’ve already got plenty to choose from… so gather your decks… and here… I bring to you…

 

The 12 Days of Christmas 78 Card Lego Spread

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Lego? I hear you say…

Yes… Lego…OK… you have all the pieces… there’s the picture on the box of how it looks when constructed…

(OK… I said I’d got you a gift… I said nothing about it being a good gift…)

The bad news is…

Ahh…. the instructions got tossed along with all the torn up wrapping paper…

so… you’re just going to have to wing it and build your own version…

Design it how you like!

The GOOD NEWS is…

No batteries required!

You have 12 days to do it…

But best of all…

It doesn’t induce mind-bending nauseating pain when you accidentally tread barefoot on it in the dark…

😉

Hey!!!

Hear that…?

Pesky Carol Singers…

I’m off to release the hounds…

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On the 12th day of Christmas, my old Thoth gave to me…
12 Dudes a-dangling
11 Ladies lusting
10 Wheels a-turning
9 Lanterns burning
8 Actions pending
7 Wins for claiming
6 Souls inflaming
A FIVE POINTED STAR
4 Stubborn rams
3 White swans
2 Pillars tall
And a Magus with a monkey
🙂

To escape to safety… throw the dogs a mince pie or better still…

Hit one of the links!

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Tarot Blog Hop ~Throw Momma From My Brain…

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It’s Tarot Blog Hop time…

Welcome hoppers… I can’t believe it’s February already… Soon be Christmas! 😀

I very often just blurt things out without thinking and then think – Oh…. Lordy me!Why??? Why did you say that? In fact… yeah… I do it a lot…

So… I’ll give you a fairly recent example as it seems to lend itself easily to the topic of tarot, healing and creativity…

I was out reading at an event and I had a blast from the past when a woman I used to work with sat down for a reading. I read for her and when I’d done, she said to me – I need to ask you a question… I keep seeing you on facebook and all the stuff you get up to… I worked with for over a decade, I never knew you did all these things… where do all those pictures come from?

And I’m not entirely sure exactly what I said to her… but I know I laughed and I started with … Well… it’s pretty amazing what happens when you rid your life of people who tell you that you can’t do this, that and the other… Then I rambled off and I know I threw the ‘Mother’ word in there and I ended on… yeah… you know… blood may be thicker than water… but which would you rather swim in?

And then I halted as I noticed she was wide eyed, with eyebrows aloft and jaw hanging…

I said to her…oooh… ooops! My bad! You’re not supposed to trash the ‘sacred mother-daughter bond’ are you?

Now it was her turn to laugh… She said to me – I wish more people would be honest about that, I’ve just got to the point where I’ve realised that I’ve spent years feeling guilty, useless and a failure by trying to live up to the ideas of a woman who is impossible to please and now I’ve decided that I just don’t care what she thinks anymore, I’m being to feel happy with my life… Do you know what I mean?

Yes! Yes I did…

So… It takes you a while to work out that you have a strange mother… because well… that’s all you know… and besides… who isn’t strange in one way or another? But every so often you get a clue that your mother may be stranger than most…

And interestingly… one of the first events that caused me to pause and ponder, also first planted the seeds for my  interest in holistic therapies. I was 15 and had felt unwell for I don’t know… three, maybe four weeks and I’d been complaining to mother that I didn’t feel good and she brushed it off with ‘Shut up! You’re going to school!’ And I went to school and felt deathly and I really knew that I was ill when I couldn’t stay awake in Art class and my head lolled to the desk… and even the boy on the next desk, who I considered to be one of God’s finest creations, with his easy smile, almond shaped brown eyes and cheekbones that you could slice a cucumber on failed to hold my interest…

The next day was worse. It started by being woken up by screeching and screaming – GET OUT OF BED!!! YOU’RE LATE FOR SCHOOL!!!

And whereas for days, I’d been saying ‘I don’t want to go’ , that day I said… I can’t…

Then things became quite surreal, somehow I was in the car and waves of nausea at every movement and then arriving in the car park at the medical centre just as one of the G.P.s was arriving. She ran towards me… Come with me now, I’m taking straight into my surgery. Once there, she said… OK I know from just looking at you, that you have Glandular Fever, but I need to take blood tests to confirm. I can remember being prodded and poked and eventually her finding a vein in the back of my right hand and she was firing question after question at my mother… And then it was just me and her… She was talking and talking to me and I really didn’t follow much of what she saying. Firstly because I was slipping into what turned out to be 6 weeks of nothingness… a dark, black, empty void only interrupted by vomiting or the need to pee… But secondly, what was spinning through my mind was – How the hell did she manage to get my mother out of that room? That woman who for my whole life had hissed – Keep your mouth shut and let me do the talking… How did she get her out of the room?

But… the thing I do recall, is that G.P. telling me over and over… Listen to me! Listen… This is REALLY important…you need to learn to handle your stress… manage your stress or your health will always be severely impaired…

So… let’s skip on a few years… Here’s when I got a jolt and really started to think – What kind of mother do I have?

IMG_1450

Who’s that girl?

Around a few years ago, The Mother turned up at my house and threw down a bunch of old photos onto my kitchen table and in that pile, was this one above… She said ‘I’ve been getting rid of rubbish… I thought you might want them.’

I looked at them and I said… Why? Why do I want your rubbish? Who the hell is that anyway?

She said… It’s you… How can you not know that?

I didn’t answer her… I saw my sister a few weeks later and I told her what The Mother had said and showed her the picture… Do you know who that is?

She said… Of course I do! It’s you!

I said… you see that skinny waif… that’s the girl that spent two years going to ballet class barefoot because her mother refused to buy her shoes because she was too obese to ever be a dancer…

So… also around that time, I was undergoing Reiki training and if you take a look at those Osho Zen cards above… These were the sort of words that were being thrown at me… creativity… healing… letting go… going with the flow… guidance…

And I will just note here I use and love Osho Zen and also I not only still practice Reiki but also teach it… and my understandings and experiences of how I use these are pretty far removed from when I was ‘learning’ and what people told me I should be thinking…

But… at that time, I was surrounded with these people who were constantly spouting that I needed to heal this, that and the other and OH! what do you mean, you don’t worship your mother? And a whole barrage of I assume well meaning claptrap but claptrap nonetheless that left me thinking – Karen, what sort of freak are you? You’re a mess! You’re a bad person! You have no business to be in this business… blah, blah, blah de blah… And slowly it dawned on me that I needed to move away from that environment…

Then I’m not exactly sure how it crossed my path but I found myself somehow or another writing a piece for Tarot Turn

Here’s the card I got dealt…

Judgement reversed… I remember feeling quite sick when I saw what I’d been given. At that point, I’d never really spent much time working one on one with individual cards and my head began to fill with stories that I’d read where people talked about what had turned up in their lives when they worked focusing on one card and the energies that it invited in…

I had a vague uneasiness and sense of dread and foreboding… Then the urge to work through my house top to bottom, one room to the next, tossing out old stuff, broken stuff, stuff I just didn’t like that much… I remember thinking… Oh… this is just avoiding sitting down and writing… when I run out of distractions… then I’ll write…

So… the whole house was sparkling and had a place for everything and everything in it’s place (Ha! It’s not been like that since 😀 ) And it was a Monday afternoon and I sat down on my sofa and the Autumn sun streamed in through my window and I thought… OK… all is done… so why do still feel as though something bad is going to happen?

The phone rang… I looked at, I didn’t want to answer it but I did in spite of myself… The Mother! Hysterical rantings…

Judgement Reversed had arrived… that phone call was a precursor to a series of events that meant a few weeks later would be the last time I saw my mother,  events that would find me standing in my bathroom ringing my sister with her asking me – Why haven’t you rang the police? Why are you still protecting her? Why can’t you understand what she’s done to you? Then she said the words that haunted me… Karen, where have you gone? When we were small, I would have followed you to the earth’s end… no matter how many beatings we got, as soon as you said Hey, I’ve got a good idea…. this’ll be fun… I forgot everything and followed you… Where did my big sister go? I miss her…

Yeah… Judgement reversed arrived… look at those coffins… corpses falling from the sky… then the angel’s wings upturned and looking like a fiery hell… That phone call on that day, blew the lid off of forty years of secrets and lies… so many things that had been hidden and buried… bit by bit they came to light, piece by piece over the next 15 months… They may still be more but I know more than I need to know now…

So… in the aftermath of XX Rx… I found myself landing in Mystereum… I have been swimming there for just over 2 years now…

And very many things have happened but here’s a whiff of what unfurled when I started sitting to talk with my birth cards…

So… that question of my sister’s that haunted me… It came back again and again… And funnily, it happened whilst I was hoovering… I have many deep and meaningful conversations with myself when the noise of the vacuum cleaner is droning… The question returned in my head and I thought… yeah… where have you gone? That child is dead… and I carried on with the cleaning as tears rolled down my cheeks and I thought… yes… she’s dead… she is most definitely deceased… she is an ex Karen… and I decided that maybe I should just mourn her and let the tears flow… But then I heard this tiny voice… very faint and distant… and I paused and switched off the machine… What did you say? I said… I heard a loud shout  of –  I’m still here you daft cunt! I started to laugh… oh! My inner child has a potty mouth!! hahahahaha she bellowed back… Of course I do! You daft bastard! I am you! 😀 I said… How am I  doing? She said…You’re doing pretty good! 😀

I’ve had much fun in Mystereum… It lifted the lid on all the things I’d allowed to get squished down… It taught me that life was a much fun as you wanted to make it… And I’m sure Mr Hoggard won’t mind terribly if I steal a quote from his book… I turn to the Imagination Primer and sit with Judgment and I find one of my favourite quotes…

‘You are no more at the mercy of your past than you are of old photo albums. Take more good pictures in your imagination!’

And that’s pretty much what I have been doing… over the last 2 years I’ve taken to writing and drawing and few more things besides… I even finally got my ballet shoes… I’m a god awful dancer! But… whereas before when I heard the word ballet, sadness crept into my heart… now I smile because I had some really fun classes and made some pretty cool new friends…

And just to throw a splash of divination in there… here’s my oracle deck that I use… I made this just under a year ago… but I think I’ll save that tale for another time…

IMG_1468

BraRacle

So… talking Tarot and creativity… well let me share a snippet of a reading that one of my new found ballet buddies did for me…

It was a pretty lengthy reading, but during the course of it, she asked me – How do you feel about your creative process?

I said… well… If you’re talking about Art… then YAY!!! That’s magical mayhem and riots of colour and wild abandon (ahem! see BraRacle above… they’re pretty much selfies… 😀 )

But writing…. Ooooooooooooh…. vile!!! It turns me into a complete shite… even the cat won’t sit in the same room as me…

She said – Really? How’s that?

So… I pointed out these two cards… Ace of Swords above The Devil…

IMG_1466

The Devil’s cupcake…
Thoth

Oh… Look… see that goat down there… Imagine it walking round and around and around in circles, turning that post… round and around… deep in the bowels of hell and the darkest of dark places…round and around for the whole of eternity… Follow that pole up… Look… Now you’re in a twee little tea shop stood at the counter and there’s a rotating cake stand… Look… Look at the pretty cake on the top! Pretty with sprinkles! You want it! It’s gonna taste so sweet… You don’t care how it turns… you have no idea that that goat exists…

Ha! I said that to a musician recently… He said to me… Oh… your hell is lovely… you haven’t the foggiest! In MY hell… the goat is dead… and rotting… and putrefied… and maggots feast and… Oh… you have no idea you silly fluffy bunny! 😀 Your hell is a holiday…

So… I will leave you with a spread I made a couple of months ago…

I find this is best done on the floor… Order your deck then swirl it into chaos… then move your cards into five waves and pull a card from each wave, as and where you like then order them 1 to 5 as you feel they want to sit…

For those of you inclined to talk with Goddesses… this is Tiamat… I start this reading like this…

Tiamat, help me to delve into my deepest feelings and discover the secrets that I keep secret from myself.

Tiamatcreation.jpg

  1. How can I become more aware of the strength, depth, height and potential of my ideas?
  2. How can I experiment and explore my creativity with wisdom and humour?
  3. How can I use my imagination to bring ideas from deep dark places into a place of light?
  4. Where can I find vibrant partnerships to share my ideas and creations?
  5. Where are my blind spots? What can’t I see when my thoughts are churning?

Now take all of your thoughts and answers and turn them to one final question:

How do I best ride the waves of my creativity?

To carry on hopping…

Pick a link…

Ania M…

Master List…

Jordan Hoggard…

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A Mabon Tarot Blog Hop Bouquet

Welcome aboard, you’ll have arrived from Chloe for Celtic Lenormand ….The  MasterList … or Louise Underhill’s Priestess Tarot …

I’ll start off by pointing out a couple of things:

  1. I’m more than a bit partial to a random ramble…
  2. It’s my Birthday 😀 so indulge me! I promise I will eventually talk my way full circle… 😉

So…. Divination? I have to confess, that it is one of those words that I try to avoid… In fact there are a quite a few words associated to the tricks of the trade that I like to swerve… for a whole host of reasons… But today, let’s address my aversion to the D word… and that incident in 1991…

But I’ll start in 1988 which is when I had my first deck, The Elemental by Caroline Smith and I kept and still do keep it wrapped in green and black silk… but back then, very few people knew I possessed such a thing… and I did keep it very low key, as back then… I knew no other person who had such a thing…

Though the nature of conversations with friends that wind and weave into the wee hours over glasses of wine, means that at some point or another you let slip your secrets… and I leaked enough to make them curious and ask me to read for them… so I obliged and just made stuff up… and they would ooooh and ahhh!! and I would chortle and think – Oh! you are so easily impressed… Like I don’t know all this stuff about you anyway….

But then, the friends of friends started asking and these were strangers and they would ask – How do you know that? And I would have to shrug… partly because I had no idea…. and partly because, the more interesting question for me was – How come you DON’T know…? Anyway… I ended up wrapping my cards back up in the silk and then encasing them in a carved wooden box just for good measure and walking away for a while…

Then in 1990, I found myself in the company of quite a few who called themselves readers and I kept my mouth shut and I didn’t let on about my little secret, but I kept my ears open and listened… and they talked… they talked a lot… and apparently a REAL reader only entertains one deck… The Thoth!

So… I tracked down, the one place in town that sold it and in I went and it was a bit like buying porn (or so I Imagine :D) as it was kept high up on a shelf behind the counter and you had to ask for it… I plucked up courage and purchased and took it away… in a brown paper bag! and I got home and slid it out and ran my hands over it…. and put it back in the box… and so that was repeated on many occasions over the following months and into the next year, by which time, I’d moved into a rather nice attic flat, that was the first place that I had solely lived in that was entirely my own space. I was blissfully happy in that flat and particularly happy to find that I had access to a fire escape and could come and go, without using the main front entrance that all the other tenants had to use. I was incredibly grateful for this, as it spared my blushes of having to pass on the stairs, the girl in the flat underneath me, who I couldn’t look in the eye… because… she made weird sex noises! Like a pig with its head stuck in a bucket! Every Wednesday night… 11.45pm kick off… game over usually by 12.05… And it was not so much her habits that bothered me… but mine that I had developed… because she was so predictable… I found that I started to count her in… with a 1 and 2 and a 3 and a 4…. then wave my arms and conduct her crescendo… So I was worried that she had heard me and whichever friends I’d had round, cheering her in on the home run…

But… I digress…

OK… Back to Thoth..

So… after getting in from a night shift, I couldn’t sleep and I found the Thoth winking at me to come and play…

and it’s around 4.30am and all is deadly silent and I pick up the LWB … I turn to page 38 and I start to read…

The traditional technical method of divination by the Thoth here follows…

And I followed what it said and I sat with baited breath, with my cards in my left hand as instructed and in my right hand… well… in those days, I didn’t possess such thing as a wand, but I’ve always been pretty resourceful, so I improvised one out of what I seem to recall as… a sandalwood joss stick…

So… I waved my most magickal of wands over my deck and I said out loud…

I invoke the I A O, that thou wilt sent H R U, the great Angel that is OOOOOOOH!!!!!!! HOLY SHIT!!!!!!!!!!!!

ALL MY LIGHTS WENT OUT!!!

I dropped my consecrated cards of art and my heart was in my mouth… and I’m shaking and more than a little bit trembly and thinking oh! oh! Oh!! OHHHH!!! What have I just summoned???

Then I take a deep breath and think KAREN!!!! GET A GRIP!!! The electricity meter has run out!! Feed it some coins 😀

So I push pentacles into slot and hey! Big white magic! Let there be light! 😀

I gathered up my flung cards and as I nudged them back into pile… I thought… Actually… you know what? I don’t much care for sitting down to chat with the likes of Mr Crowley… I’ve seen that recipe for Cakes of Light... and as for his taste in drinks… his bouquet is not to my liking… So… again, I put cards back under wraps and that deck stayed swathed until fairly recently when My Thoth Lit Up…

But that D word is getting harder and harder to ignore these days, as the more I read, the more I get asked how I do it… and I have given a whole range of answers from very many angles… depending on the mood I’m in… None of which satisfy me, having come from a background that has a heavy dose of Science tossed into the mix… Though on one day, through sheer frustration at being asked for about the what seemed like 100th time that week… I just said LOOK!!! I don’t know!! OK?? You asking me that is like me asking you how do you breathe… and I thought to myself…. Oooooh …. bit rude! and I was pleasantly surprised when she piped back with oh! cool… you just do it naturally…  So… I’ve been using that of late… ‘I read like you breathe’ and it doesn’t get challenged! No counter argument… no demands to extend my logic… Just oh! COOL 🙂

However… I still have that Science gene spliced within… so I have to go away and examine in my own time… and my conclusion… well I’m back to that old question of How can you NOT do this?? It’s there all around, everywhere…. art, music, science, patterns, rhythms, cycles, numbers, letters… round and around… waiting to be read… waiting to be observed… and then all becomes as predictable as Miss Piggy on date night…

So… I know when I started reading cards… but when did I start to divine? Well… now I look more closely at it… I can’t remember a time when I didn’t divine… I was a curious child trying to make sense of a puzzle filled world and I’ve always had some sort of running commentary going through my head… Where other kids had imaginary friends… I had an invisible brother… Now there is a clear distinction there… Imaginary friends don’t exist… Invisible brother very much so exists… but you can’t see him… I can’t see him… Oh! but I could hear him…

I did have a tendency to turn feral very quickly as a kid and would shoot off as far as my feet would carry me, to entertain myself on great adventures and I would also drag my little sister along… and no matter how many times I got us both a beating… all I had to say to her was… Hey! I’ve got a good idea… and she would blithely skip in my wake… And she thought I was the bee’s knees… especially when we got stuck in a field with a bull… She was terrified… I was probably more so than her, but never let on… I had a word with my brother and he lead us safely out… And even better… he didn’t steal my glory 😀 So… I guess that was a bit of divine guidance…?

And when not getting into scrapes, I had my nose firmly planted into Alice in Wonderland… Her life was exactly like mine! Just I could see her brother… a big old White Rabbit… and we got up to all the same kinds of stuff… falling down holes and talking to plants and animals…

And still animals and plants talk to me… I listen… I listen lots… though I don’t talk back… I’m not freakin’ crazy! 😀

But my garden is where I do my best divining… and it occurs to me that flowers are always in the act of divination… they are rooted with their faces turned to the sun and they just do what they do… They feel their connection to the Divine and they bloom and blossom and open and spill joy with nary a care…

They make no apology for being beautiful, they don’t strive to make comparisons or fill themselves with angst or question whether they are good enough or is this the right time?

They are present and vibrantly alive…

I remember that Alice (which if my memory serves me well… I think means Seeker of truth…) talking to flowers and also to that big old Caterpillar…

O R U….

H R U ??

Hey! Did you just invoke I A O to send the great Angel?

Mmmm…. I think that sneaky Lewis Carrol may well have been a tarot reader…. I think he may have corrupted my young innocent mind…

Oh well… I leave you with a bouquet from my garden…

Hey… I just heard those flowers talk…

Put your crown on!

It makes the cosmos smile!

🙂

You may escape…

here… Chloe for Celtic Lenormand

here… The Master List

here… Louise Underhill’s Priestess Tarot

Sermons from my Hierophant left me hanging with The Hanged Man…

The Hanged Man ~ Thoth & Hermetic...

The Hanged Man ~ Thoth & Hermetic…

My dear old long suffering Mr S was born under the Hierpohant and he is frequently prone to delivering unsolicited sermons unto me…

Sometimes he is boomingly preachy and I bite my lip (mostly :D) rather than signpost him to go straight to hell… for instance… he’s not taken too well to the way I’ve chosen to ride out the school summer holidays this year… He likes  routine! order! discipline!

He’s been bitterly disappointed… I’ve had a few other things on my mind and have been setting up new projects and dusting off old ones and basically of the opinion that the kids are more than old enough to take some responsibility for themselves…

So… I installed 3 basic rules…

1. Don’t kill anybody…

2. Don’t burn the house down…

3. Pick up your own mess…

Beyond that, pretty much anything goes…

So that was MY routine! order! discipline!

Mr S considered it to be way below required standards… and just to hammer the point home… He started THE LIST…

Everyday, he came home from work, he took his LIST and took a tour of the house and logged everything that was not acceptable to his world order…

The LIST… soon became The List of CHAOS…

It’s the best entertainment we’ve ever had 😀 The kids went to great lengths to compete and see who could score most entries and myself… I succumbed to forging his handwriting and slipping in details of his personal habits that I find hugely irritating…

So he would do his tour and stand in the middle of the room and BOOM!

Half a biscuit left on bookshelf! Who’s guilty?!

And I would see a little face behind him… eyes bursting with glee whilst trying to hold in laughter…

Empty crisp packet pushed under chair! Who’s guilty?!

And another little face fit to burst…

Always expects the whole house to fall into silence so he can watch yet another bloody star trek episode… HEY!!! That’s not my writing!! Who wrote that?!

ME!!! I’M SPARTACUS!!! 😀 😀 😀

And he turns to me and says – so I suppose you think you’re funny… Do you think it’s normal to live like this?

Why yes sweety I do! And what I find funny is that your Routine! Order! Discipline! Has become a R.O.D. for your own back…

But then on other days… His sermons roll forth in ways that are sublimely and sweetly divine and I am easily seduced to sit and listen to him while away the time with his easy chat, rolling out like a red carpet to my ears…

And this happened yesterday… I came downstairs and I found him walking around the kitchen, but the List of Chaos is long gone and now in its place resides a huge gnarly branch of hazel… and he walks towards me and waves it around and circles me in merry dance and tells me that he is making a staff… He holds it aloft and tells me he will anoint it and call it Great Sage, Equal of All Heaven…

So I sit with him and I smile and I know he expects me to be sarcastic but again I disappoint him by saying… Good… I like that… I like that a lot…

He says… Oh… you think you’ve got the monopoly on being a loon don’t you?

I says.. Noooo…. though I think I’ve got a very good start… I actually consider myself to be The Keeper of The Loon… I’ve been holding it for you whilst you’ve been on sabbatical… I’ve been waiting over 20 years for you to come out of retirement…

And we slide into talk of Tarot and the Ace of Wands and the Hermit and then he goes off onto a lengthy monologue that covers most of the globe and talks its way through thousands of years of history and he tries and fails to educate me yet again on Thoth… then he notices that I am looking out of the window…

Hey! He says… What card am I?

I turn around and he is sat in the chair and he has his staff across his shoulders like a yoke and his arms are stretched out and twined around the length of the hazel and his legs are in the pose of the yoga Tree…

I bored sigh… The Hanged Man…

He says – Damn! You’re good…

I say – How did you get from Hermit to Hanged Man?

He says – I didn’t… It aligned itself with me… It shall be my card of the day… Now bring me The Thoth…

I said – I think you may mean The Hermetic…

He says – I think you may be right… I like that deck much better… Bring forth The Hermetic… and deliver unto me The Hanged Man…

So it is duly delivered into his hands… and he starts to talk again… and again… I drift away…

Until he says… Look at the branch that he hangs from… It is the same shape as my staff… My staff is not a staff at all is it? What is it? What is it called when it runs that way… As if to fully support my whole weight while I hang calmly without falling down…?

I said- It’s a RSJ…

He laughs…yeah… A bit like that  but not like that…

I said… A Reinforced Spiritual Joist…?

He says… Yeah… That’ll do nicely…

I laugh… and I think to myself… Yeah if you’re going to have a staff… much better to use it as a RSJ rather than a ROD…

And then I look at those two cards the Thoth HM and the Hermetic HM… and I see many things in there that have been circling around and around me lately… and I think that I must think further… and I look at the them and I look… and I think… This calls for a bit of scuba diving… But I can’t think straight with these naked men around! If I have to go plunging into deep pools, then I’d much rather swim in Mystereum… and explore the depths with maybe a sharpie and a few runes to shine some light into dark places…

But more on that next time… For now… I’m going to leave you hanging… 😉

XII The Hanged Man (c) 2010 Jordan Hoggard

XII The Hanged Man
(c) 2010 Jordan Hoggard

My Thoth Lit Up

So… I’ve had a Thoth deck since 1990… though I’ve hardly used it as it just never really seemed to sit right with me. The colours always seemed so dull… And it’s always seemed a very masculine deck to me… Probably because around the time I first encountered it, I often found myself in the company of men who used Thoth, and who would BOOM such phrases as SOLAR PHALLIC OUTBURST!!! or RUIN!!! DEATH!!! DESTRUCTION!!! 😀 yeah… I’ve kept (and still do keep) some very strange company 😀

But… I’ve kept that deck on my shelf and maybe every once a year or so, took it down and had another look, hoping that one day I would find its charm…

So… recently, my friend Charlotte invited me over to her place for a Life Path reading and I was very intrigued, as she works with Thoth, using a method that she has been taught by her grandmother. It was too good an offer to resist… So it was, that I came to find myself sat in the sun and finally seeing some colours…

Thoth ~ Tree of Life

Thoth ~ Tree of Life

Now, the spread above, started out as a beautifully laid out Tree of Life, but as we talked, we walked the cards around a bit and also added a few…

But the moment when the cards came to life for me, was when Charlotte pointed to the 4 of Wands and asked me a question along the lines of ~ What is it that drives your ideas?

And then I did something without thinking and picked up the 4 of Wands and also the Ace of Wands and did this…

Ace  of Wands ~ 4 of Wands

Ace of Wands ~ 4 of Wands

Hahahaha!!! Now I see you Thoth!! That is what drives and turns my ideas… Creative sparks, ignition of burning passions… Ironically… SOLAR PHALLIC OUTBURST!!! 😀

I should have listened to those boys!

Suddenly I saw that spread as a living 3D structure… or should that be 4D as it moves through time or maybe 5D and beyond…?

So… there are many paths along the Tree of Life and we walked and talked at length of many things and most things…

But… I’ll share a thread of thought here about the Fool…

So… The Fool sat at the very top of my tree… and our conversation turned to talk of boundaries and how they vary and change for a whole plethora of reasons… And to loosely quote, Charlotte said to me … Look at the shape around the Fool… The Fool sets his own boundaries… Imagine them as a trail of light left by a sparkler… You should go away and think about that…

And I had a wry smile… as two days earlier, I had created an image during a free flow of thoughts which I won’t go into other than to say I don’t know exactly how I made this image… but I do know, I won’t be able to make it again… And when I’d made it I looked at it and it seemed deeply resonant to me… but… What was it?

Ha!! Now I knew…

The Fool's Boundaries (c) Karen Sealey 2013

The Fool’s Boundaries
(c) Karen Sealey 2013

The Fool’s Boundaries… I’d done my homework 2 days before the assignment was set!

But that often happens for me… I have a sense of time and sequencing that would give Quentin Tarantino a headache…

So… anyway… Later that night when everyone else had gone to bed… I decided to get out my Thoth and recreate the spread and see what else I could learn about the Fool and his boundaries…

So… I lay out the cards and I scratched my head…. Something felt to be missing… What was it??

So… I thought… Well! Why have a dog and bark yourself? Hey Thoth! What’s missing? I drew a card… The Ace of Cups…

Funny… The other 3 Aces are already out… OK… the Ace of Cups completes the set… but WHY? What does that mean?

I pulled down the Fool from the top of his tree and placed the Aces around them in the pattern they were in my spread and placed the  4th Ace in the gap like so…

The Fool and The4 Aces

The Fool and The 4 Aces

And I looked at it and I thought… Now why does that look familiar? And then I glanced across at the pile of face down cards and laughed… Oh! The Aces are placed like the back of the deck…

So… I turned the  Fool…

The Fool turns his back...

The Fool turns his back…

Oh! OK… the Fool can set his boundaries as and where he likes and sometimes that simply means just turning your back…

Then I laughed some more as I focused in… to the symbol… in the centre… of the cross…

The Rose Cross

The Rose Cross

Oh… and sometimes setting a boundary is knowing when to tell someone…

You can kiss my fluffy tail! 

Or… maybe I should get my Thoth out again and go try this…

A Rosicrucian Spread

😀